You don’t have to do any of this perfectly to make a difference.
Just take the ideas that feel the most fun for you and implement those.
Knowing you can come back to this material at any time.
Food moralizing trap
no bad foods >> portion size me movie
Food scarcity thinking >> last supper eating
It’s not about eating less – it’s about eating ENOUGH and enjoying yourself
The secret to enjoying yourself without guilt, shame or regret. >> TEA
HOW SELF TALK WORKS
TEA – Thoughts > EMOTIONS > ACTIONS > Results
eg. C. Jules ate 2 cookies. –
T. I’m so stupid, I’ll never learn, I can’t be trusted
E. shame guilt
A. eat more cookies >> feel even worse.
T. Those cookies were so amazing they are exactly what I needed.
A. move on to something else.
T. I’ve blown my diet now. I may as well finish the packet. Get rid of them
A. finish the pack. >>
eg. C. Thanksgiving dinner
T. This is so delicious. I should stop but I don’t want to. I won’t get to enjoy this again
E. rebellious scarcity
A. Over eat.
T. It’s better when I don’t over stuff myself because I’ll sleep better, there will be amazing leftovers tomorrow.
A. Stop eating when satisfied.
We think it’s the circumstances that cause our feelings but it’s actually our thoughts. We can choose thoughts that don’t make us feel ashamed or guilty. We can decide.
Doable 4-step process that gives you the freedom to have fun without fear of over-doing it.
You don’t have to apply all the steps every single time.
Even one will make a difference.
It doesn’t have to be perfect.
STEP 1. D – Decide in Advance (commit and plan)
Use prefrontal cortex
Can be specific – eg. I’ll have 4 glasses of wine.
Can be general – I’ll stop when I feel satisfied.
STEP 2. I – Imagine
Practice in your mind
eg basket ball + piano research
helps you plan for how to handle problems
STEP 3. L – Laugh at your Urges.
What are urges?
Most of us either resist or distract – not long term solution
What to do instead – allow the urges to be there – have fun with it.
When you have the urge to drink when you haven’t planned.
Or have MORE than your plan you need to practice handling this.
It will get easier with time.
What will you make your urge mean?
Of course I want another glass. Of course I want wine now.
Hello little urge – I see you. Come on in. Sit down here and make yourself at home. Ellens giraffe
We’re going to hang out. It’s totally cool for you to be here. I’m going to stick to my plan anyway.
STEP 4. L – Learn – What will you do differently next time?
Not from judgement or shame.
Curiosity not condemnation.
Einstein quote – “a person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.”
The point isn’t to be perfect and never over eat or over drink – it’s to do things better than before.
8 simple ways to be a gracious guest (or host) without over indulging.
1. Let your host know in advance. >>Decide priorities>> more important to be a ‘good’ guest OR to take care of yourself.
2. Offer to bring something.
3. Show your appreciation with words instead of a clean plate. eg. sending a thank you text.
4. Remember you always control HOW MUCH you eat. Use your self talk to stop when you’re full.
5. Listen to Nigella >> “No one is interested in anyone else. If you don’t tell them they won’t notice.”
6. Think abundance not last supper. There will be more amazing food in my future.
7. Decide to stop picking when cooking / cleaning up >> like flicking a switch in my head. Imagine, later plate, random bites jar, I don’t use my body as a rubbish bin, pause. You can pause and re-imagine at any time.
8. Trust the process! >> Decide, Imagine + plan for obstacles Laugh Learn
How to hangover-proof your celebrations.
Use our process DILL – especially deciding.
EXERCISE: Your Why
Write a list of all the reasons why it will be better when you stop and stick to your plan.
eg. sleep, self trust, role model for others, feel better later, better leftovers.
>> INTENTIONAL THOUGHTS
I can do this
I WANT to do this.
It’s better when I stop because….
There will be more amazing food / wine
Of course I want more
The easiest way to build self trust even if you have a history of breaking promises to yourself.
Trust is a feeling.
So we just have to think thoughts that create that feeling.
Decide to become someone who trusts themselves around food.
Stop saying ‘I don’t trust myself’ or ‘trust in myself if low’
Practice thinking ‘I trust myself’ OR a laddering thought
eg. I’m learning to … It’s possible to… I want to trust myself
Look for evidence that it is true AND reframe evidence that it isn’t.
What will you make it mean when you mess up?
eg. eating more than you planned
eg. think about a friend who you trust – how do you respond if they do something wrong.
The Imagine Challenge.
Imagine every day in December
How to join the challenge
1. Leave a comment below saying you’re in
2. Print your star chart (or make your own)
How to participate
Take 2 minutes to think about your day and imagine it going well.
Read the intentional thoughts on the star chart page.
Have a question? Want coaching on a particular situation. Leave a comment below.