[dropcap style=”font-size: 60px; color: #71CCD5;”] T[/dropcap]his is a new concept I’ve developed in my coaching work on myself.
I’ve been practicing this principle for over 5 years but this is the first time I’ve actually written about it.
Can’t wait to share it with you!
WHAT YOU’LL LEARN TODAY:
- What are personal rules?
- How personal rules can help
- Examples of personal rules
What are personal rules?
Personal rules are a set of ‘rules’ or guidelines I’ve developed to make my life easier.
They are a list of decisions I’ve made in advance about what I will or will not do.
For example, years ago we joined a local playgroup that meets every Tuesday.
Each week a different mother brings a cake or something sweet to share. From the very beginning I decided that I was going to have a ‘Personal Rule’ that I don’t eat morning tea at playgroup.
Almost 5 years later, I haven’t had the cake.
Because it’s part of my identity, I don’t even think about the cake.
Even if I’ve made it myself.
It’s not a struggle each week.
I just have a nice cup of tea and enjoy the morning. Chatting and pushing my boys on the swing.
It really works!
How personal rules can help
1. Better decisions.
Developing personal rules is super powerful because it involved making decisions in advance.
This means we use our rational brain – the prefrontal cortex. Which is capable of planning and evaluating consequences.
And thinking about the future.
As opposed to when we make decisions in the moment, we’re more likely to be using the emotional brain which just cares about pleasure right now.
Forget the consequences.
2. Less decisions
With personal rules you decide once.
Then it’s done.
No need for the mind drama of ‘should I?’ or ‘shouldn’t I?”.
With my playgroup habit I made one decision years ago. And it’s saved me hundreds of decisions ever sine.
3. Improves adherence
One of my coaching clients wanted to change her diet to help with some health problems.
When she stuck to her new way of eating, her symptoms disappeared and she felt amazing.
But of course there were times when she ate off plan. Because she felt it ‘wasn’t fair’ that she had to ‘restrict’ when her family and friends were eating whatever they wanted.
By developing her own personal rules we were able to change her mindset.
And her adherence rate.
By seeing these decisions as something she ‘doesn’t do’, they became part of her identity.
Rather than an external idea that she ‘should’ stick to.
My client came to feel empowered about her eating choices.
Another example are vegetarians.
They’re able to enjoy a restrictive diet because they ‘don’t’ eat meat. They see themselves as someone who is vegetarian.
Examples of personal rules
Here’s a list of some personal rules I find helpful.
I’m just sharing these to give you some inspiration.
I’m not saying you should use any of these rules.
The fun and power is in finding your own!
- I don’t eat cake at playgroup on Tuesdays
- I don’t take seconds.
- I have one glass of wine if I’m eating out. No more.
- I drink black coffee / tea.
- I don’t eat grains / sugar / flour.
- I don’t have dessert.
- I put my cutlery down between mouthfuls.
- I don’t snack.
- I don’t miss exercise for more than one day.
- I don’t struggle.
- When I eat out, I order the fish (if it’s an option!).
SUMMARY:
Here’s what we’ve covered:
- What are personal rules?
- How personal rules can help
- Examples of personal rules
ACTIVITY
STEP 1. Brainstorm a list of personal rules that may help you.
STEP 2. Review the list and choose the 1-3 rules you are excited to experiment with.
STEP 3. Write a list of these rules and place them somewhere you’ll see them often.
STEP 4. Review your list of rules every day. To remember either set a reminder in your phone or tie it to another habit you already do daily.
STEP 5. Schedule time next week to review your rules. Decide which ones you want to continue to work on.
STEP 6. Repeat until your personal rules are embedded.
Keep it simple (and fun) in the kitchen!
With love,
Jules x
ps.What do you think about this concept? Are you excited to try it? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Love the idea of rules. I’d like to make a rule to make nutrient dense food choices….99% of the time. Easy enough for me to do at home or at a restaurant. However, my 2 challenges are: 1) When I entertain I welcome potluck offerings but how do I politely steer the guests to bring healthy offerings. 2) When I am someone’s house in with a small group how do I navigate away from the unhealthy foods without having others comment on what I am or am not eating. Yes, I can be a good sport and eat anything but wondering how my rule above could work in real life.
Those two situations can be tricky to negotiate Julie…
1. Be more specific with your guests about what you’d like them to bring. Ask for them to bring salads or vegetable dishes. People like to have direction and if you let them know what you need, they’re usually happy to oblidge (and not think about it)
2. When eating in someone elses house you first need to decide what’s more important to you, eating 99% nutrient dense food OR being a gracious guest?
Answer this question and act accordingly. For some situations, I just want to be a good guest so I make the healthiest choices I can that won’t cause offense. And I remember it’s up to me to choose how much I put on my plate and how much I eat.
But with other people / situations (generally friends I know well) I have the conversation in advance about my need to eat low carb to manage my diabetes.
In both situations I always offer to bring a dish so I know there will be something I’ll want to eat.
Finally remember social situations are about people. Not about the food. So try and focus on the conversation and spend less time thinking about how nutritious every bite is 🙂
Jx
This is a really hard one for me, I think because of all the years I spent feeling deprived – it’s especially hard when I’m around people who are eating things that trigger feelings of deprivation. I know that if we do that long cruise next year, it will kick in big-time. Especially with desserts, given that everybody else eats them and the staff are “pushers”, and that I am tired by dinner time and therefore have less ability to resist temptation. The idea of rules like this make me realize that they require some commitments I’m not quite ready for. Probably because I expect that I’ll feel deprived. Rules for when we’re at home are fine. I’m guessing that if I can really cement those into place, the cruise will be easier?… This is one idea I’ll need to work hard on.
It’s interesting your thoughts around feeling deprived Susan.
I agree embedding your personal rules and getting them happening at home is only going to help when it comes to cruise time.
The other thing you might like to think about is questioning the idea that you need to ‘resist’ the ‘temptation’ for the desserts on the cruise. What if you could get to a place where you actually didn’t desire them in the first place?
Or be able to feel the urge to eat the dessert but instead of resisting it or giving in to it, being able to allow it to be there?
Just some things to consider.
Jx