NHC Feb 23Live Event – Part 2/3

welcome back to our kickoff event for February 2023, Naturally Healthy Club. So this is the second hour or second part, and in this part we’re going to be talking about my thoughts create my results. And so I’m going to just share with you this idea of our thoughts create our results, and what self-talk is. And then we’re going to be looking at basically the obstacle thoughts or the limiting beliefs that we have. We’re going to do an exercise around your naturally healthy self concept, and I’m going to share with you a naturally healthy philosophy and we’re going to come up with our belief plans, which I mentioned in the first hour. So our belief plans is just a list of beliefs that we’re going to be using in our daily practice.

Okay, let’s do this. So basically when I say my thoughts create my results, what I’m talking about is our thoughts, specifically there’s two parts to it. So our self-talk, which is just all that moment to moment chatter that goes on in our brains. And how self-talk works is, the way I remember it is TEA. So our thoughts drive our emotions, and then they drive our actions. So T for thoughts, E for emotions, and A for actions. And then the actions that we take determines our results. So there’s two types of thoughts. There’s conscious self-talk and there’s subconscious beliefs, and we’re going to address both. But I want you to just start playing around with the idea that everything comes back to our thoughts. And so if we want to change any behavior, we just need to identify the thoughts and feelings that we’re having.

So if we want to change any action that we’re taking, we just want to identify the thoughts and feelings that we’re having and then change those thoughts so that we’re able to take different action. So in terms of the self-talk thing, how we actually do that, first of all, it’s just the first step is awareness. So we want to start listening. I want you to start listening and tuning into your thoughts, especially in the moment. So if you’re feeling like you’re about to weigh yourself, tune into the thoughts that are coming up for you when you’re about to weigh yourself. Because if you’re telling yourself, oh, it’s probably going to be bad and whatever, I don’t want to do this, then of course then you’re going to feel like you’re not going to want to do it.

Whereas if your thought is like, oh, I wonder what this is going to be like, or like Jones, just if your thoughts are curious and all your thought is I’m just doing this to learn, this is a new thing, I’m just experimenting here, you’ll feel more curious and then you’re more likely to weigh yourself. So the first step with our self-talk, bringing that awareness is key and then observing how the thoughts make you feel and then choosing… So if you’re noticing that you’re taking action and you’re not feeling great about something, it’s just getting curious about, well, what else could I be thinking with in… What could I think instead that would help me take the action? So yeah, other examples of doing it. So if I noticed that I’m… In terms of the example of listening to my body, I feel myself getting full and then I can… And then I’ve trained myself to tune into what are the thoughts that I’m having because I’m feeling my body getting full, but I’ve got this resistance, I don’t want to stop.

And the thoughts will be like, oh, a few more bites won’t matter, or this is really good, I don’t want to stop. And so if I’m thinking, if I’m like, no, my body’s feeling full, but I’m thinking to myself this is really good, I don’t want to stop, of course I’m not going to stop because I want to feel that desire to keep eating. So what we want to do instead is just get into the habit of just noticing that, bringing that awareness of, oh, hang on, I’m thinking this is really good, I don’t want to stop, and instead going, hang on, that’s not really helping me. Taking a pause and going, well, what could I think instead here? So an example could be, and one of my favorite thoughts is just, it’s better when I stop, and then that gets me thinking about all the reasons why I want to stop.

I’m going to sleep better, I won’t feel bloated later, I’ll feel really proud of myself for listening to my body. Another one is I’ll enjoy these leftovers more if I stop now. There’ll be a good chunk of food to have for lunch tomorrow. You can see if I’m thinking I don’t want to stop, of course I don’t want to stop. Whereas if I’m thinking, oh, I’m going to enjoy these leftovers for lunch tomorrow, then I’m way more likely to stop. So this idea, this concept of thoughts create our emotions and they create our results, we’re going to be coming back to a lot during the group. And I’m kind of mindful of time, so I’m not going to spend a lot of time on it now, but I just want you to start for now, just start tuning in to what are the thoughts that I’m thinking? What exactly is going on?

Yeah, it’s better when I stop [inaudible 00:05:47]. It’s one of my favorites, Jennifer. Yes. So we’re going to come back to this, but for now because you’ve got a lot of new things that you’re taking in, so now I just want you to just stop. If you notice, great. But don’t stress out about it too much. And I’ll be giving you more examples and we’ll work through things. And when we’re coaching, we’re going to be looking at your thoughts as well. So there’s a whole heap that we’re going to be covering on this. And then in terms of the subconscious beliefs, so they’re sometimes called limiting beliefs, but it sounds really scary and mystical. But really the way I think about it is just our subconscious is just our habit brain. So whatever we keep thinking repeatedly, then that goes into our subconscious beliefs.

And there’s a saying that what gets impressed gets expressed. The way we can change our subconscious beliefs, there’s two parts to it. One is actually changing our habits and that gives us evidence for I’m a healthy person, so if we have that habit of putting our cutlery down and really enjoying our food, that’s evidence to our subconscious that I’m someone who enjoys my food. And then the second way that we can change our subconscious beliefs is actually practice thinking new beliefs on purpose. And so what we’re going to do now is an exercise where we’re going to uncover… Oh, Vicky said… Yeah, so what gets impressed gets expressed. So whatever you impress on your subconscious, so the thoughts that you keep thinking on purpose, they will come up as your subconscious beliefs. So by using our conscious brains to think thoughts of like I am…

So this thought that we’re working on for you guys, for everyone, of I am naturally healthier or I’m becoming naturally healthy. That is an example of us using a conscious thought that we’re going to be telling ourselves, writing down every day in our daily practice that’s telling our subconscious, I’m naturally healthy. And over time the more we tell ourselves that I’m naturally healthy, the more our subconscious is going to believe it. And also as we’re also building habits that show that I’m naturally healthy, I do my daily practice and I make intentional choices about my food and I plan my treats ahead of time, it all layers in to be changing our subconscious. So we’re going to be layering in giving ourselves positive thoughts, but also there’s going to be thoughts that we have about ourselves that aren’t consistent with us being naturally healthy.

And so what we want to do is uncover those and we’re going to do an exercise now to uncover what I… And they’re called obstacle thoughts or limiting beliefs. So they’re the subconscious beliefs that we have about ourselves now that are stopping us from being naturally… That aren’t consistent with us being naturally healthy. So grab a notebook or open up a note on your phone, computer or phone if you’d like to type stuff. Or actually type in the chat would be good so that we can coach on it. But I just want you to answer this question. Why aren’t you at your ideal weight already? So why aren’t you already at your ideal weight? And just whatever comes into mind. If you want to type in the chat, that would be great so that we can coach on it. Yeah, great. Marissa is saying menopause, that’s going to be a big story for a lot of us.

Let me go on to gallery so I can see everyone. I overeat. Yeah. I eat my feelings. Great, great. Being too sedentary. Vicky, great. I love food too much is a big one, I can’t stop. Emotional snacking. Yeah. I like to eat my feelings. I don’t know how to change and manage the changes in metabolism and desires in menopause. Great. My job and my relationships have taken precedence over the last 30 years. Right. There we go. Yeah, I can’t because of my work, I’m too busy. I don’t have time. I snack too much. Yeah, great. Yeah, great. So these are all really like, okay, it might not seem like great news, but it’s great to uncover these. Or it could be my family, my genetics. Everyone in my family’s big so I’ve always been big or I’ve always been like this.

Okay. Yeah, it’s a justification. So Maddie’s saying, “This may sound weird, but I think in a way it’s a justification for having less energy than I feel like I ought to.” Right, right. Yeah. Okay. I’ve [inaudible 00:11:10] because I have less energy. I just don’t have the energy to look after myself. Marsha’s saying, “Plus too much food prep for me and my husband.” Yeah, I’ve got to take care of my family so I don’t have enough energy to take care of myself. That’s a big one. Yeah. Great. Okay. So what we want to do with these is then we want to look at them and find… We don’t have to prove this wrong. So if your job’s been full on for the last 30 years like Mary’s, and we don’t have to go to the thought of, oh no, I have plenty of time and my job’s amazing. We don’t have to disprove the thoughts, but what we want to do instead is choose a more helpful thought, a more helpful way to reframe this story. And so let’s choose one.

So the menopause one came up a lot, like I’m menopausal so therefore I can’t lose weight. And so if you’re thinking, I’m going through menopause and therefore I have to gain weight, of course you’re going to… Or I’m not going to be able to lose weight, of course you’re not going to make any changes there. So what we want to think instead is just switching it a little bit of… So we’re not going to dispute. Of course you are in menopause and of course it is more challenging, but the thought we could think there instead might be… Come on Jules, you can do this. Yeah, I’m menopausal and I can learn to listen to my body and let my body guide me through this. How does that feel for the people that are in their menopause? Or even I want to learn to listen to my body. I just need to learn to listen to my body. My body can guide me through this.

What else did we have? My work, I’ve got so much on. Let’s see what else. We’ll choose another one. Yeah. How does everyone feel about that, the menopause example? Marissa, if you were thinking I can figure this out even, how would that feel? That’s a good way to put it. I can listen to my body and be menopausal. I’m not 30 anymore and that’s okay. Of course I can do this. Hard to convince myself of that still. Yeah, and we don’t want to be convincing, it’s just opening ourselves up to the possibility that I can… So we just want to have possibility. We don’t have to 100% believe the new belief, but it just has to feel, oh yeah, that could be true. It just could be. Yeah. Great. So Nicole had one around feeling celiac and she said, “Being at my goal weight means I’m managing my celiac disease.” Yeah, there we go. So that can feel positive.

Samantha, I would have to barely eat anything to really lose weight. That thought, not so helpful. Yeah, I’m going to have to starve myself to lose weight. That does not sound fun, does it? Yeah, yes. Yeah, not helpful at all. So what about instead is like, yeah, I can learn to listen to my body and my body can guide me. And also thinking about playing the long game as well. So remembering that if you want to lose weight quickly, maybe starving yourself is the only solution or doing crazy fasting or whatever. However, if I’m taking a long term approach and I’m doing this slowly, I can listen to my body, I can learn to listen to my body and that’s all I need to do and my body can guide me. Being in my goal weight will prove my doctor wrong. That sounds really motivating Mary.

Yeah. So Samantha, how does that feel of rather than I’m not going to… If I’m going to lose weight, I’m going to have to hardly eat anything. All I need to do is learn to listen to my body. It’s just a new skill. Okay, Vicky and Mary have got the doctor thing. You like it? Great. Screw that doctor. Yeah, exactly. Proving him wrong, I want to prove my doctor wrong, yes. All I need to do is listen to my body. Yeah, great. Okay, let’s choose one other example. And so I want you to, whatever your specific examples are… Yeah, okay. Okay. Jill’s is, I snack too much after drinking wine in the evening. That’s pretty straightforward. I can learn new habits, I can learn to be intentional with my snacks and that’s going to make a huge difference. That feels like a great opportunity, Jill, and for anyone else that’s got the snacking. Yes. And Jill said, “Something that always helps me is if other people can do a thing, then I can too.” Yes. Yes.

So there are people who’ve lost weight during menopause and I can do that too. That’s a really, really powerful thought. So you can see how when you’re looking at the doctor, looking at the thoughts, see how different thoughts make you feel. That really is how our brains work. Yeah, right, Mandy’s like, “I don’t need to carry around the heaviness of resentment. This is about specific experience.” Yeah, I don’t need to carry around that heaviness. Yeah, I don’t have to do that. That feels empowering, Mary. Yeah, Marissa’s like, “I can deal with 4:00 fatigue and other feelings in healthy, fun ways.” There we go. Yeah, exactly. So I’ll leave those with you. But you can see that when you’ve…

And as you notice, and for those of you that are watching the replay, post in the group if you’ve got a thought and it feels really true. It could be my family history. All my family’s overweight, so therefore I’m going to be overweight, it’s my genetics. If you’ve got something that feels really true and you can’t find a more positive, more accessible thought for, post in the group or come up to one of the live calls and let me know and we can work on it. So when you’ve got that more positive thought, just hold onto that, remember it because we’re going to be using it in our belief plans.

And so next we’re going to do an exercise about… So rather than attacking, so that’s the obstacle thoughts and the things, the beliefs that are holding us back. Now we’re going to change our focus and actually look at, okay, where do we want to get to? What do we want it that to look like? So we’re going to do two things. First of all’s a visualization exercise, which I just want you to… I’m going to lead you through this where we’re going to do some imagining together and play around with what it’s going to be like to be a naturally healthy you. And then we’re going to just do a free writing exercise. So yeah, I invite you to turn your camera off if you’ve got your camera on because I’m going to invite you to close your eyes and you can leave your camera on though if you feel comfortable. Okay. So I want you to just… We’ll all take a breath in, and breathe out, and just get comfortable in your chair wherever you’re sitting.

I invite you to close your eyes if that feels comfortable. But if you want to leave them open, that’s completely cool too. And then I want you to actually, before you close… Actually, open your eyes up again so you can see what I’m doing. I want you to cup your hands and then just hold them next to your body by your sides like this. So you’re arm’s at a right angle and now you can close your eyes and just get comfortable and just have your hands cupped and just kind of resting on your sides. And then I want you to focus all your attention on your right palm. And then we’re going to move across to your right elbow. Then move your focus up to your right shoulder, and then move your attention across to your left shoulder, down to your left elbow. And then bring all your attention into your left palm. Feel it heavy in your palm like you’ve got a ball there.

And then your attention, you’re going to pass the ball over to your right palm and have your attention in your right palm. Back to your right elbow, up to your right shoulder, across to your left shoulder, left elbow, left palm. Go through the loop one more time. So across to the right palm, right elbow, right shoulder, left shoulder, left elbow, and left palm. And now I want you to imagine yourself at your ideal weight. So whatever that is for you, it doesn’t have to be a number, but I just want you to imagine yourself feeling really good in your body. So it doesn’t matter what the number is, but I just want you to have that feeling of, yeah, this is me at my ideal weight. I’m happy with this, I feel good in this weight. I want you to imagine yourself just being in your body and feeling that feeling, feeling in your waistline, feeling strong.

I want you to imagine yourself having lots of energy and feeling comfortable in yourself and just really get curious. What else are you noticing when you’re here and you’re at your ideal weight? What does that feel like for you? Think about when you’re getting dressed in the morning, what type of clothes are you wearing and how does that feel going into your wardrobe, being able to put on whatever is there? And then think about when you’re eating, you set the table and you’ve got this skill and you’re listening to your body and you’re in that tune of, yeah, you’re eating, you’re enjoying food, you’re feeling really satisfied. Yeah, just what else are you noticing when you’re at mealtimes? Maybe you’re feeling proud of yourself and remembering, oh look, this used to be a struggle, but look at me. I’m enjoying this. When I’ve had enough, I’m satisfied. It feels really natural to me to stop.

Maybe I’m leaving some food on my plate. Just imagine feeling good. Feel how good that feels to be in control, to be that person who’s sitting down to enjoy a meal, knowing that that’s satisfying, knowing that you’ve given your body what it needs and feel how fun that is. And I also want you to imagine feeling that feeling of pride of I did this, I have made a big change, I’m feeling really comfortable around food. I feel good in my clothes and I did this. And feeling that sense of pride and satisfaction that you were able to make this change, something that so many of us struggle with and you’ve been able to navigate that. Okay, and then I’m just going to get you to just gently come back into the room. When you feel ready, just gently open your eyes. And then take another breath and then grab a pen or something to write on. Don’t type this one in the chat, but I just want you to just write a couple of sentences about what was that experience like? What did it feel like?

What did you notice about being naturally healthy you? What was that experience like? So I’ll just give you a minute to write a couple of notes. Maybe there’s something like a feeling that you had or a word that came to you. Maybe it’s like you felt calm or confident. The reason we’re doing this is that the more time we can spend imagining ourselves and looking at the future of where we want to get to, the more we’re going to start to create that in our lives. So it’s being able to visualize it is the first step. Okay. Feels possible said Mary. Yeah, beautiful. Great. This is possible. Okay, so now what we’re going to do is we’re going to create our belief plan. So the next exercise is actually coming up with three thoughts or you can have more if you like, but I recommend three that you’re going to have in your belief plan to write out every day. And so all of you, we’ve got our first one, our group one for everyone of I am naturally healthy, or I’m becoming naturally healthy.

And then I’m going to just paste in the chat here, our Naturally Healthy Club philosophy, which I shared with you this week on the call. But this is another good place to look at. So there’s a couple of resources that we can use to pull together for you to choose your three thoughts for your belief plan. So one is that exercise we did with the obstacle thoughts. If there was anything that resonated there for you, that could be one. So it might be rather than thinking I’ll have to starve myself to lose weight, your thought could be I want to listen to my body or I’m learning to listen to my body. We had that one around menopause of I’m learning to listen to my body and navigate menopause.

So you might want to have an intentional thought about that if that’s important to you. Or you might just want to choose two other thoughts from our philosophy that feel really good to you. So for those of you that know that emotional eating’s a thing you might want to have in your belief plan that I feel my feelings or it’s possible for me to feel my feelings. And actually, so if any of the thoughts in the philosophy don’t feel like that you’re 100% there yet, you can soften them and add it’s possible for me or I’m becoming or I’m learning to, just to make it feel more believable to you now. So let me just grab my notes back. Yes. Yeah, so intentional thoughts could be I trust the process. So maybe you could write down every day, I’m becoming naturally healthy, I trust the process, I change best when I feel good. Or it might be, I’m going to focus on one meal at a time. I’m getting exactly what I need when I need it.

And a really good one, actually one of my favs that I use all the time in my belief plan is I want to do this and I can do this. Because that’s just direct. When you tell yourself I want to do this, it directs you away from all the reasons why it’s hard and all those stories and all those obstacle stories and it just directs you towards actually I want to do this, I want to become naturally healthy. It feels really motivating. And with those thoughts, you can play around with them and it doesn’t have to be set in stone. You can change it to whatever feels good to you. Yeah. Does anyone have any problems coming up with three thoughts? Marissa said, “I want to try this one out. I have many healthy ways to handle stress, negative feelings that don’t involve overeating.” Yeah, perfect. If that feels good to you Marissa, then go for it.

Yeah. Or you can just, I have many healthy ways to handle stress, stressful, negative feelings, or I have many healthy ways to handle negative emotions. Yeah, totally Samantha. Can we change this up? Absolutely. It’s like your playground of you making whatever you want to be. So all we wanted to do is just make sure it feels motivating to you. Yeah. Does anyone else want to share examples? And actually if you want to turn your cameras back on so I can see some beautiful faces. Yeah, great. Does anyone want to unmute and actually share their belief plan with the group? I don’t need to stick with the same ones over and over. No, and you can change it every day if you want. If you want to just write whatever comes into your head, and actually that can be a good way to do it is just let it evolve over time.

And also as you get coached, your new beliefs will come in. And also as you go through, you’ll find that actually, you know what? Because Marissa at the moment maybe this handling negative emotion in healthy ways, maybe that might be something that as you do work on that and you feel like you’re making progress, you might feel like, actually, I don’t need that in my belief plan anymore because I’m there already. Like I used to have a belief I was working on last year around I’m an affectionate loving wife and mother and I was writing that down every day because I wanted to be better in my parenting and better in my relationship. But I feel like I’m not writing that down anymore because I feel like I’ve made huge progress in that. So I guess I can share other examples from mine.

One of mine is that I’m young and getting younger every day, which obviously I’m not getting younger every day. But this belief, actually, it’s fascinating what you write in your belief plan how it can come to life. So that one, I’ve been writing that down for a long time because I had this goal to live until I’m 122 so I’m writing down, I’m young and getting younger every day. And last year I was out for dinner with my Irishman and we were having a drink at the bar and he was like… I don’t know why it came up, but he was like, “Yeah, and you’re looking good.” He’s like, “I just keep looking at you, you’re getting younger.” And I was like, oh my god, I’ve been thinking this a lot. And I told him about my belief plan and he was like, “Wow, crazy.”

And actually it happened again. I went to a curry night at a friend’s place and I ran into one of my friends from when we used to go to playgroup and she’s moved to town. Her kids go to a different school. So I hadn’t seen her in probably five years and she’s like, “Hey, Jules, you’re looking younger than last time I saw you.” And I was like, my belief plan is working. So be careful what you put in your belief plan. And it doesn’t have to just be naturally healthy stuff. And if you want to have 10 things that you’ve got in your belief plan that you’re working on, go for it. If you’re like, I have a new job that I love, if you want to put that in, go for that as well. Make it about your whole life, but just remember to have that minimum baseline. So for those days where you’re really busy or you’re running late, that you just write your one sentence for those days because we want to keep the habit alive.

Marissa said, “I like the idea that most pleasure happens in the first few bites to remind myself I don’t need to eat it all.” Yes. So there, the most pleasure happens in the first few bites. Excellent, go for that. Vicky said, “I like the quote, a bend in the road is not the end of the road unless I fail to make the turn.” Yes. I love that. Yeah, as long as I keep trying, I’m not failing. That’s really powerful, Vicky. Yeah. So any thought, just as long as it makes you feel good, go for it. Jill said, “I can change my habits. I can listen to my body and stop eating. I want to do this and I can do this.” There we go. Yes. I can’t stop writing them [inaudible 00:33:56] whole life stuff. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So fun. So when I was trying to get pregnant with my second I was like, we have a healthy baby brother for Fergal, and I had a baby boy.

And actually someone that I worked with earlier on, she took this idea and I think a kid was studying high school and she wanted to get him into this school. So she started writing out every day, my son has been accepted into this school, which was really hard to get into and he got into the school. So you can use it for all sorts of things. Amy’s saying, “I’m learning to listen and trust myself.” Beautiful. Mandy’s like, “I’m naturally healthy. The most pleasure happens in the first few bites. No part of me is weighed down by things I can let go of.” Oh, that’s beautiful. I’m brimming over with youthful energy. I love that one. I want to do this and I can do this. Yes, yes, yes. So yeah, this is meant to be fun. If it’s not fun then you’d want to change it so that it does feel fun. This isn’t meant to be heavy, it’s meant to be inspiring and motivating.

Yeah, so we’ve got our belief plan now and we’ve made amazing times. We get to have another break now. Yeah, so the recap from this hour is just this idea that our thoughts create our results. The way we remember that is TEA. So our thoughts drive our feelings, our emotions, and that drives our actions and our actions determine our results. So if we want to change anything, we just want to bring it back to our thoughts. And so we’ve got our self-talk that we’re going to learn that skill and we’ll do another lesson on that and something that we are going to practice over time as well. So that’s coaching ourselves. And then we’ve also got our subconscious beliefs, which we’ve got our belief plan for. So is everyone feeling good about their belief plan? Before we wrap up, does anyone have any doubts about their belief plan or worries about their belief plan or any questions? No? Feeling good?

Okay. Just excited to apply this to my… Yes, yes. And you can write down business goals, absolutely. Actually, one of mine in my belief plan that I’ve got written up on my wall here but you guys can’t see, but it’s like, I am the best health coach in the world. So there we go. Excellent. Okay, so we’re going to take another… I’m becoming naturally healthy. Jones got I can do hard things. Awesome. I’m a success story. That’s beautiful, Nicole. I’m an author and applying it to my writing. Fantastic, Marissa. I’m the best. That’s another one I had before, I’m not working on a cookbook at the moment, but I’m the best cookbook author in the world is going to be in my belief plan in the future. Great. Okay, so we’ll take another break.

So we’ll come back at 10 past the hour. So it’s 8:02 now, so 10 past eight for the Aussies and for the rest of you, you can work that out in your time zone. And in the next hour we’re going to be talking about nutrition. We’re going to be doing a quick primer on feeling our feelings and we’re also going to be going through mistakes. So again, I’ll close this down and it’s the same link to get back in. Okay, I’ll see you guys at 10 past.

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